Dolce Vita

Before I engage myself in it, I knew the world is made up different kinds of people. I knew there will be always 2 different kind of feelings:

1. Grievances against your superior
2. Delighted and pleased with your work

Throughout the life in band, I've learnt to accept, tolerate, acknowledge, give in & out, endure and much more. These can be done easily when you love with what you're doing. You'll realize you dare to bear with it despite the hardship you've encountered.

But I guess I was not as strong as I thought. I might have just acquired the 75% and yet to mastered the other 25%. I failed in deliberating upon to resume or to drop. But in the end i choose to drop.

I knew I'll disappoint the others. I have yet to achieved the maturity that I should. I thought I was, but it seemed I'm not. I'm still childish as ever. I'm not ready for this world, there are much more to be learnt.

I blamed myself. I chose to leave and this would end up placing suffers to the others. How immature I am.

You guys were great. But I truly apologize that I'm not persevere enough.

I despise myself. I've been thinking throughout this morning. Sitting alone at the sofa and take a deep consideration :

" How are they now?"
" What are they doing?"
" Are they in troubles because of me?"
" I'm such a loser"
" Did they place a high expectation in me for completing this job?"
" They have been treating me so good all these while. We laughed we joked..."
" Did I disappoint him for offering me this job?"
" Maybe he wants me to experience therefore offering me this job"